


Pain Under Review

by hightechzombie



Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One)
Genre: DJD in the background, Gen, and lots of background gore and mention of car destruction, and snuff films, dark humour
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-11
Updated: 2015-07-11
Packaged: 2018-04-08 20:30:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4318971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hightechzombie/pseuds/hightechzombie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Running a troup of professional torturers and homocidal maniacs is a hard task, but it's even harder to uphold the high standards of pain, suffering and horror that Tarn had set for his victims.</p><p>It was time for a performance review.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pain Under Review

**Author's Note:**

> Dark humour, mention of torture and gore. Additionally, dead cat and snuff film mention.
> 
> That's all!

“I will admit my surprise and appreciation at your silence, human. It has been a trying night for all of us and your willingness to obey our reasonable requests gives me hope for successful cooperation. Please, seat yourself.”

The human slowly sat down on the blood-splattered chair, folding hands on its knees. There was no horror distorting the face nor any screaming, which Tarn found a pleasing change of pace.

“Do not worry, this will be over quick. After all, the neighborhood is demolished, you are our final witness. Depending on your answers, your demise may be quick and painless - or not. Please think long and hard on this fact before doing anything… unwise.”

The human blinked:

“Now, please,” said the human. The high-pitch of the voice betrayed the fact that this was female specimen. “I prefer to think of myself as an intelligent woman, and disobeying a creature four times the size of my house… no, that really does not sound like smart idea.”

“Indeed,” drawled Tarn, then his eyes switched to Helex. “Oh no, not this racket again. What’s with the screams? Either increase the temperature to kill the human or please remove yourself from the evaluation process. No, no more sulking. There you go….”

“Excuse the interruption,” sighed Tarn. “My team is an exceptional group of Decepticons, and their exceptional qualities often entail exceptional quirks and eccentricities.”

The woman cackled.

“Oh, tell me about eccentricities! No, people clearly do not value anyone who is different from them. In fact, this whole place was a rotten neighborhood that never appreciated my artistic and unusual persona. Many thanks for getting rid of them.”

Tarn clasped his hands together, examining the human.

“Vos had told me, you were filming the ordeal.”

“Yes, I was.”

“Why?”

The human woman sighed.

“Do you what it is like to live in the suburban hellhole of meddling mediocrities that have no idea of privacy or isolation? It is horror. I am simple woman with not many joys in my life. One of them are my horror movies and… well, I can be honest with you, can’t I? Actually, it’s snuff movies. They are my life’s passion. The second joy in my life are my cats.”

“Now, what do you think,” the woman’s tone turned menacing,”did anybody let me live in peace? Someone called the police on me and confiscated the snuff collection! As for my neighbor, the one you dismantled in in my garden? He had the audacity idea of driving over my favorite cat!”

The woman sniffed:

“Poor Victoria, she was a beauty. Now, I am trying not to be the vindictive person, but what you did there? That was karma at work, for the man clearly deserved it.”

“Decepticon,” corrected Tarn. “Your neighbor was not human, but a deserteur from our ranks.”

The woman narrowed her eyes to slits.

“I am not trying to doubt your judgement… but I am sure I’d have recognized if he was a 6-meter tall robot? For the neighbor I know, was surly short man with greasy hair and an unhealthy obsession with his car.”

Tarn dismissively waved his hand.

“The human form is a holo-projection. The car was his alt-mode, and thereby the true body.”

“Explains the car dismantling… and here I thought, that was only to inflict mental pain,” muttered the grey-haired lady.

“Ah, we finally breach the topic of pain. You see, the Decepticon we know as Gnarler has fully succumbed to the illusion that he is a human. As we know little on human torture, therefore there was a lot of improvisation on our part which we would like to avoid in the future. therefore it is vital that we receive informed and neutral feedback on our operation, preferably rated on 1 to 10 scale for the criteria of mental horror, physical pain and inventiveness.

The woman examined Tarn for several moments before she burst into laughter.

“My friend - if you do not mind me calling you that? -, this is the most glorious moment of my life. I am at your full disposal. There are not many people on this earth that have my expertise and passion for the topic pain and horror.”

There was a glint in the woman’s eye, that Tarn had before only seen in the optics of his fellow DJD members.

***

“You have been very helpful, madam.”

The cat lady bowed her head with smile.

“The mirror to show the intestines to their own victims found much appreciation among my team, although it could hardly compare to the excitement of “insects fed through the mouth” approach. We are delighted to have worked with you.”

Tarn folded his fingers together and thoughtfully stared at the human.

“In fact, we are so delighted with your work that I have a new proposal for you. If you keep a vow of silence about the existence of our race, we may continue our fruitful cooperation in the future through long-distance communication.”

The woman beamed with joy.

“Oh my, that is an offer of a lifetime. I graciously accept this offer, God bless your souls.”

“Pleased to hear. Now, my team must depart. The work of Decepticon Justice Division is never quite down and there are more traitors to hunt down. Farewell.”

“Farewell, good sirs. I will eagerly await more footage.” The woman grinned like hungry turbofox.

Tarn nodded with respect and beckoned his team. Together, the DJD moved toward the shuttle and entered one by one.

“Final thing,” shouted the woman, running after them. “Goodness, I almost forgot! I have utterly loved, what you did at the end. Immaculate grasp of human culture!”

“You refer to…” said Tarn.

“Yes, yes! It was a wonderful last touch, to make the bastard hear “Mmm, whatcha say” during his last moments. Please, never change.”


End file.
